The first time I dreamed in French (and what it taught me)

How immersion shapes us in ways consumption never can

The first time I dreamed in a language other than English, I truly understood the power of immersion.

I was 19 years old and living abroad in Paris for the summer. With 6 years of study under my belt and a college minor in French, I traveled across the Atlantic for the first time to explore the enchanting culture in person.

I still remember the day I arrived. It was raining and I had a hard time locating my host apartment. I walked up and down Rue Oberkampf for what felt like an eternity — although perhaps it was only 20 minutes — but the rain and my tears were indistinguishable.

I heard my name and saw a woman with brown hair and kind eyes. My host mother came out into the rain to find me. I have fond memories of her hospitality and waking up to baskets of croissants and French bread with Nutella for breakfast.

When your internal language shifts

My first dream in French was both jarring and incredible. I could feel myself adopting not just the language, but the ethos of the world around me. In that moment, I sensed I had crossed a threshold, where I embodied the essence and the spirit of the place I was in.

I now understand the dream as a metaphor for how immersion takes shape. It doesn’t use force, but proximity and presence. Sustained exposure over time is what quietly reshapes us.

Learning is the process whereby knowledge is created through the transformation of experience. — David A. Kolb, educational theorist

The same forces that shift our internal language also shape the internal language for organizations.

Culture is absorbed, not declared

These concepts translate to the corporate ecosystem as it relates to organizational behavior and culture change. As leaders enter new systems, it is critical to take the time to recognize and understand the internal language (both spoken and unspoken) of the collective.

Culture is best learned through environment, not instruction.

In my advisory work, I’ve been part of 20+ person teams working with clients paying millions in fees to facilitate culture change and create process playbooks, only to have it eventually sit on a shelf. The work was strong, the data was vetted, and the demand was there, but ultimately, the organization wasn’t culturally ready for the change it believed it wanted.

The same pattern appears when companies design spaces without understanding user behavior.

We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us. — Winston Churchill

A former client of mine went to a tech start-up to lead its new HQ build-out. There was an immense amount of excitement and c-suite leadership earmarked tens of millions for the project. This was following the COVID pandemic and the organization wanted to adopt a remote-first work environment.

Following the renovation, the space was beautiful, but what they didn’t anticipate was that the workstyle they optimized for didn’t match the true needs of the employees it was meant to serve. That disconnect cost them several more million to make the necessary adjustments.

Immersion ≠ Consumption

Immersion changes us while consumption only passes through us.

As consumers, we prioritize speed and short-term gain. The transaction is king, aiming for lower cost, higher value, and accessibility. There is absolutely a place for this, and entire industries are built on it.

However, consumption is heavily weighted toward extraction, and if not careful, could become a distraction, even if a welcome one.

Immersion requires purpose and reflection. It’s intentional, has the power to foster change, and the capacity to impact hearts and minds.

Consumption fills the moment; immersion drives transformation.

I was a consumer of the French language for years — I took courses, joined conversational study groups, watched movies, and read novels. It wasn’t until my visit to the country itself that I became truly engulfed in the culture, leading to my own internal shift.

A total immersion in life offers the best classroom for learning. — Leo Buscaglia, educator and author

A metaphor for transformation

Spaces, environments, organizations, and experiences shape us when we allow ourselves to be immersed in them. As leaders, it is our responsibility to curate the right conditions so that the outcome is a desirable one, where change is sustainable and meaningful.

Immersion is what rewires our internal language, whether we’re individuals in a foreign city or leaders inside an evolving organization.

I first learned this in Paris. Now I recognize it everywhere: immersion is what turns observation into embodiment.